Конкурс имени Бульвер-Литтона

Это конкурс на худшее первое предложение романа (вымышленное). Вот победитель за 2006 год:

“Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you’ve had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean.”

Из призеров еще, вот это замечательно: “Words cannot describe the exquisite loveliness of the brilliant azure sky with its cerulean striations of periwinkle, cornflower, and cyan.”

И вот это (победитель в категории женских романов): “Despite the vast differences it their ages, ethnicity, and religious upbringing, the sexual chemistry between Roberto and Heather was the most amazing he had ever experienced; and for the entirety of the Labor Day weekend they had sex like monkeys on espresso, not those monkeys in the zoo that fling their feces at you, but more like the monkeys in the wild that have those giant red butts, and access to an espresso machine.”

Там еще немало хорошего. Но самое гениальное: среди призеров Lyttle Lytton, в котором размер предложения ограничен 25 словами; точнее, даже не призер, потому что это предложение было прочитано в чьей-то книге, а не придумано специально, но тем лучше:

“His eyes were brown, although you wouldn’t know it just by looking.”(отсюда)

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